The Patrician’s Rant on Plebians Part 1

It is hard for me to live.

Don’t think like that, this is no mere suicide note the emotional plebs write. This is a one and only rant. About the amount of plebs (of all kinds mind you) that unfortunately I have to live near. What has driven me to rant about plebs? Well they have been meddling in my life far too often.

Examples? Okay you asked for it, well there are the times where I went to the Pleb school, and saw a production where there was sand everywhere! I mean what is this? A beach!??? Coincidently the production was about a beach, but I think it had nothing to do with the amount of sand that was there. Then there was the play, eugh, the play. It makes me flinch more than ever.

First of all there was a fisherman who was amazed by a mermaid who was dancing around him. There are multiple errors about this situation. First of all, why is there a mermaid AND a fisherman in a performance room? They’re not meant to be there! Secondly why is the mermaid out of the water? Shouldn’t it die? Thirdly, Mermaids are meant to have Fish tails instead of legs, this, dare I say it, IMPOSTER, has feet. And finally the mermaid was dancing, and KICKING SAND INTO ME. I was in the front row, and I had no intentions of getting by designer pants getting sand on them.

That was the point where I wanted to have a rant about Plebs. There are a many different species of plebs, and I shall guide my fellow patricians into understanding how these people live and interact. First up on my agenda of hate comes the species of Pleb known as

The Bogan/Chav/Hillbilly

Now, what actually makes a Bogan?

Well, I’ll tell you, my Patrician associates, their accent and general manner makes a Bogan a Bogan. The Bogan name and accent diversifies in different countries. For instance in the UK a Bogan is known as a Chav, and has a very dirty English accent, not the type that’s smooth and lovely, but the type that makes you want to expel your digestive system. In the USA, Hillbillies are mostly located in the southern part of USA, while not all of the southerners are hillbillies, more than 2/5s of Southerners are Hillbillies, which of course if you were properly educated, that is a high percentage.

In the US it is harder to identify Hillbillies from other Southerners as all of them have the same accent, although if you study these Plebs’ closely, you shall see large differences in their behaviour indeed. For instance, the average Southerner does not slap his knee in amusement, the average Southerner does not talk about their Farm Animals being equivalent to humans, and the average Southerner does not find snort or hic while laughing, unless they’ve got a serious problem with their vocal chords.

What do Bogans do?

Well, they do a lot of activities, mostly of recreational and maintaining farmland. Their activities are considered vulgar among us Patricians, but the Bogans do not consider it so.

Their activities include the riding of the board known as “Skate Boarding”, being illiterate, laughing at horrible TV shows (2 and half men is not funny) and having third to fourth rate jobs. I find their lifestyle rather amusing if I had to describe it, in another way other than plebeian.

I am all ranted out now, but I shall return later with more rants about the many species of the Plebeians.